If my dog could talk (rather than bark or bite) I am sure he would tell me his tales of the travels he undertook, how out of poverty he used to drink from the toilet, or how for defense he had to fight me, and literally chew my arm off. How the AC was never up to his liking, and how the treats were never enough for him. I can just imagine the kind of conversation we will have, here is what comes to my mind immediately.
Me: Come on you lazy bum, you are getting fat, go for a run.
My Dog: Look who is talking! Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?
Me: No more sweets with you, you loose your hair is what the vets say.
My Dog: Oee Takley, han han.. tereh to bahut ache baal hai! (hey Baldy, yeah right you have such nice hair!)
Me: Get out of my room!
My Dog: It smells like piss here, I just came to check who has been marking territory thats all.
Me: Here have a biscuit.
My Dog: Biscuit my foot! I smell ice-cream in the fridge, pass that you #@#@
Me: Stop drinking from the toilet!
My Dog: I heard Narayan Murty cleans his own toilet to keep his ego in check, I keep mine in check by drinking, Its being humble! You wont understand you arrogant fool.
Me: Stop biting me!
My Dog: Sorry, its confusing, you are round as a ball…
I clicked this at Morjim beach.